As we journey through life’s biggest transitions, the tools that got us to ‘here’ may not be what we need to get to ‘what’s next’. We’re smart women. Our bodies and minds know what we really need. But the noise of other priorities, the all-consuming fatigue we can feel, the brittleness that comes with feeling like our bodies have betrayed us, can have us holding tight to what worked before.
So, how do we make space to listen in? And more from paralysis to clarity?
If we listened to our bodies when they whispered, they wouldn’t need to scream.
Research shows that hormone fluctuations impact our resilience to stress. It’s why everyday happenings suddenly cause us anxiety. And why everyday niggles are harder to shake off. But external stress impacts the severity of hormone fluctuations as well as the optimal performance of other hormones in our body too. If life is hard (when isn’t it?), your body will be working twice as hard to maintain its equilibrium.
What we can sometimes forget is that our body wants us to be in balance. It sends signals of distress to protect us. And it is only when we ignore them, that these take can take root as more serious health issues. So as caregivers, fire fighters, circus jugglers and all-round superheroes, how do we make space to work out what we need?
1.
Try introducing the principles of The Morning Pages: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is over 30 years old and yet it continues to inspire new generations looking to for guidance and inspiration. The Morning Pages are a key tenet of her 12 week programme. Designed for the creative soul in every one of us, this daily practice of allowing free-flowing thoughts to spill from your head to the pages of a journal can also help us create space to establish what we need.
It’s a philosophy captured in the beautiful workbook by the therapeutic coach, Henny Flynn, in her new book Flow Journaling too. In a Masterclass with our community in July, Henny was asked whether using a device rather than a pen and paper worked. And her reflection, on both her own experience with clients and the supporting research, was fascinating. From a neuroscience perspective, something very different happens when we write rather than type. Because we can’t write as fast as we think, our brains are encouraged to slow, which makes space for subconscious and more deeply buried thoughts to come through.
2.
Try a body scan meditation: The body scan meditation practice is traditionally used to help us identify where our bodies may be holding stress. Research has shown it can reduce anxiety and improve sleep. But it can be used to help us feel into the emotions we are holding on to too. Simply find a quiet space to lie down where you know you will be undisturbed for 15 minutes. Then, starting at the top of your head, slowly bring your attention ‘in’ and ask yourself how each body part feels. It’s important to note that there is no requirement to ‘fix’ or adjust anything, but simply to observe. And it’s this act of noting that allows you to calm your mind and keep it in the present moment too. As you progress you will find yourself identifying emotions based on your body’s response. And, as you acknowledge the feeling you may naturally feel a release. As your mind calms, it offers an opportunity to also ask your body what it needs from you. Keep with the stillness. See what it throws up. And at the end of your practice, take forward what you learn.
3.
Put on your walking shoes and move: When was the last time you took yourself on a silent walk? Just you. Without a podcast or a soundtrack, a human, a pet, to fill your head? When did you last really see and take in your surroundings? Walking meditations can be hugely effective, particularly when we’re stuck in fight or flight mode. Research shows that, by taking a practice we do on auto-pilot and making it ‘conscious’, we are able to reduce stress, clear the mind, improve our focus, and problem solve too.
The practice is incredibly simple to introduce. Choose a route that feels calming to you and where, critically, you can walk without distractions. Bring your attention to your senses. What can you see, smell, hear, feel? Gently bring your attention to your breathing too. Explore syncing it with your footsteps. Play with the pace of your movement too. How slow can you go? If your mind wanders, bring it back into the present with self-compassion. Then, as you complete your walk find a space to sit and let your mind wander instead. What does it want you to hear? How does your body respond to that request?
Ultimately, the route to working out what is right for you demands permission to try too. Adopt a curious mind. And a learner’s mindset. Try new things. Keep listening in to see how they’re received. And if they don’t work, move on. Because the most important thing in navigating this liminal phase? Is to gently keep moving forward.
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